I have found the only way to deal with the pain of loneliness (when it crops up unexpectedly), is to embrace someone who is hurting. It works, too! I think all of us have at one time or another been left for dead, by a dear loved one in our lives. People will disappear from our lives for various reasons; some will die, some will get mad, hurt, and offended, and not have the capacity to forgive and forget and move on. While other loved ones will become so estranged from us, that we wouldn’t even recognize them if they walked right past us on the street.
The sad fact is, when things like this happen, as they so often do, is that WE become the dead among the living. We become the walking dead, BUT, only if we choose to die. Life should be all about renewal. I learned about death and renewal by growing tulips. I so wanted to prune and cut off the brown, lifeless, stems and leaves, when the last red petals of spring gave up their life among the flowerbeds. I saw how lifeless, ugly, and withered the green had become, and hated to see it shrivel and die, but then I realized that the old, decaying matter; did matter. It mattered more then I knew. For without this dead and decaying fertilizer, the bulbs far below the ground would not be nourished and come to fruition in the spring.
I feel your pain, Pam. I’ve been there, too. My love and thoughts are with you in this time of sadness and grief. I love your dear heart!